DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
that's an acceptable place to lick
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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