Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
