Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
