So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize