Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
