I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize