Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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