Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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