i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
