Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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