We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
