oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
