But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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