The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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