Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
