Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
