Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
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sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
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Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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