Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
