There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
