I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
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He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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