We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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