I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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