Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
