Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize