Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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