I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
