i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's rum buckets o'clock
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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