Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
