what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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