you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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