Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
