yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
