Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
