My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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