so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
