You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
