I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize