just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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