Are we in a gay sports bar?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
