The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
