i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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