the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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