the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
