dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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