Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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