somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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