i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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