I'm gonna have a badass scar
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
