I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
