So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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