fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
