so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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