Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize