i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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