umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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