U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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