Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
