how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this boner is exhausting
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
