So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
